Antihero club
by finmagik
Summary: A massive crossover. Snape goes to the antihero club ever day for lunch until one day [Contains spoliers]


Unreality, is a place in the mutliverse were all the fictional characters live, in between or at the end of their labor in our books, movies, Tv shows, and games. They wouldn't want you know about it, would much prefer if you thought they just exist in the books, movies, tv shows etc. A creator may just claim they pop out their minds and are inspired by so-and so, not true and the actors who play them on Tv or the movies may just give them form.  
There is a city called Notropolis, where most of them reside. And on adjective avenue there are various clubs, there is the Heroes club with gleaming marble all done up in Greek revival fashion. The Villains club a graffiti covered gray gothic structure, that looks as if its about the fall over. The modest sidekicks club, which incidentally does the best lunch in the Notropolis. Finally there is the Anti-heroes club, a honey brown Georgian structure with steps that lead up to, two polished wooden doors. Over it is a crest that consists of a heart of gold (which all anti-heroes are said to posesses) with the motto Damnant quod non intelligunt (They damn what they do not understand) scrolling around it because all anti-heroes as misunderstood. The membership of this club is more exclusive then the other the clubs and it has a smaller membership. It easy to make a character one thing or other, not as easy to make a character that is neither but still retain sympathy of the audience.

It was a typical day, and Severus Snape decided to take lunch at the anti-heroes, he'd been a member for years. He nodded at the hall porter as he entered. The hall porter did not nod back, this was odd. And Snape had a slight feeling of uneasy, he decided to enter the dining room, as usual.  
Only he couldn't, because there were three people standing in the doorway. Dream of the Endless, Dr. Gregory House and Havelock Vetinari.

"What is going on?" Snape asked raising one eyebrow.

"Severus Snape," Dream said. "Your membership to the antiheroes club has been temporarily suspended."

"So sorry," Vetinari said in a sarcastic tone.

"Why have I been suspended?" Snape said with hiss. "I pay my membership fees."

"Nothing to do with Membership fees, Half blood Prince," House said with a smirk.

"In light of recent evidence," Dream said. "The membership committee is questioning whether you qualify as an anti-hero at all."

"That, it shouldn't count," Snape asked. "The majority of the fandom thinks I still thinks I am an anti-hero."

"And my fandom thinks I should be gay," House said swallowing a handful of Vicodin.

"As you know fandom opinion has little weight with the membership committee," Vetinari said.

"I have five books full of reasons why I am a rightful member of the anti-heroes club," Snape said. "I saved Potter's life in the first book, and there members here who've done worse. "

"We are not talking about other members' crimes." Dream said.

"I've never sent anyone to hell." Snape said glaring at Dream.

"Watch your tongue," Dream repiled scowling

"I've never betrayed my best friend," Snape said turning on House.

"You don't have a best friend," House

"And I haven't killed or tortured as many as you," Snape barked at Vetinari.

"All, I did I did for the city." Vetinari said in a icily calm voice.

"Come on," House said. "Let's get lunch and talk about which losers are kicked out of the club this month."

They turned and left. Snape watched them boiling with rage, he had as much right as any of them to be a member. He considered casting a hex on them but it was against club rules and all three of them were on the Membership committee.

"You shouldn't have done that, laddie," Said a voice behind Snape.

Snape cringed at the voice. It was Stanley Feathersthonehaugh Ukridge, an obscure Wodehouse anti-hero. He was a large man, always wearing over everything a yellow Macintosh over shabby clothing and always wore his glasses askew. He was to loud, to boisterous and he always asked you for a loan. There had been attempts to have him kicked out for years, after all they already three other Wodehouse characters, but none of the attempts had worked.

"Leave me alone, I don't have money," Snape said, he always said this to Ukridge.

"Severus Snape you're a rotter," Ukridge said. "I was going to give you bit of advice on how to stay in this club. After all no one likes taking lunch in the villains club, a crusty roll is the least of what they throw there."

Snape was about to tell Ukridge to sod off but this guy had so far resisted all the numerous attempts to expell him. So Severus decided to listen to him.

"How much will this advice cost me?" Snape said.

"Knew you'd come around," Ukridge boomed. "About five bob."

"How much is that in wizarding money?" Snape sighed.

"Oh, a galleon, I figure." Ukridge said.

"Here," Snape took out a galleon from his wallet and gingerly it placed in Ukridge's palm.

"Bribe'em," Ukridge said. "Bribe all of them, that's how I stayed here. Gotta go now, I have lunch with Corky at the sidekicks club."

And Ukridge walked off, making Snape wish he hadn't wasted a galleon.


End file.
